It’s only when we acknowledge that
we are 100% responsible for our own happiness that we start to ‘notice’ our
actions that create our unhappiness and start to shed the habits that sabotage
our contentment and joy. Many of us do not want to accept that their very
habits are the cause of their unhappiness. Here are the 7 habits of highly
unhappy people:
Judging: When
you judge others you lose your inner peace, the primary ingredient of authentic
happiness, on the mental heals of which often come the sentence and the
punishment! All together (judgment, sentence and punishment), they make up the
package called ‘condemnation’ which is a guaranteed happiness killer!
Criticising: Criticising is attacking, and somewhere
‘in there’ usually lies anger albeit in a milder form. And when you are angry
you are unhappy. Some of us hide criticism behind ‘constructive criticism.’ Any
criticism with anger is more often revenge; any criticism with revenge, however
gentle, is punishment in disguise; an unhappy habit.
Complaining: Complaining
is endemic in some cultures. Complaining signals the presence of distress and
therefore the absence of happiness whereas ‘giving feedback’ and ‘making a
request’ ensure that there is no discontentment. Easy theory, but hard to
practice, especially if we have been playing that old ‘complaining record’ all
our life.
Blaming: Projecting
blame onto someone else is not only a happiness killer but usually a habit to
avoid responsibility. It’s driven by the perfect combination of anger and fear
and is therefore a painful cry that sounds like, “It’s all your fault”, but
which, when decoded, really means, “I have just made my self very unhappy!”
Arguing: Trying
to prove we are right, or attempting to make others right, is usually both a
tense and grumpy affair. Neither side is happy in the process, and even if it
seems one side has won, any happiness is short lived until the next opportunity
to ‘be right’ is craved for and invoked! To argue is to tell the world that we
prefer misery to merriment!
Competing: Most
of us have assimilated the belief that competition is good, fun and even
joyful. But a glance at the faces of long distance runners, tennis players will
show that 99% of the game is played in a state of abject suffering.
Occasionally, in the middle of the game or the match, someone will let a little
joy slip out, but it doesn’t last long. Competition contains fear by
definition, which along with anger, are the sworn enemies of happiness.
Controlling: Attempting
to make others dance to our tune is a demonstration of the belief that others,
and not we, are responsible for our happiness. If the truth were realized and
lived i.e. that we are each responsible for our own happiness, the world would
be a very different planet on which to live.
These 7 of many habits block the light of sun of happiness from shining through
our life. Each habit is embedded in one culture or another and has become
acceptable though social collusion, thereby sustaining unhappiness and passing
it on to the next generation.
Action: Identify
your habits that cause unhappiness, rate them, shed them, find their positive
equivalents and imbibe as your habits.
Adapted from Mike George’s article, The 7 Habits of Highly Unhappy People! ©
2010
By the kind courtesy of Col DEWAN SATISH
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