BASIC MILITARY LAWS

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
The easy way is always mined.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
If the enemy is within range, so are you.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Tracers work both ways.
Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
When in doubt, empty your magazine.
The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the G-3.
The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
The crucial round is a dud.
There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict.
If you enter CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will leave his office with the CO's idea.