Disclaimer

Monday, January 17, 2011

National Corruption Institute Of India (NCII)

The humor/satire in this imaginative Creation is also

really and plainly painful to many

Please do note the bottom-line.

But, Hats off to the person who created it.
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National Corruption Institute Of India
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You've all heard of B-Schools. Yes the IIM and related

armada of annually turned out Business School graduates

who all end up working in

companies which I have huge stakes in and yes the

B-SCHOOL is also a

distinct brand of business teaching that allows

Professor (Name Edited) to dare aspiring B-Schoolers

to think beyond the IIM's and in

return be rewarded with laptops

(on a first come first serve basis)
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The future of this country lies not in the B-School

but rather in

the C-SCHOOL where C stands for CORRUPTION.

Apart from this Legendary Investor

the next bunch of highest money makers are

our politicians.

And politicians need to excel in the art and science

of corruption to

become successful politicians. Therefore I forecast a

C-School boom

much like the B-School boom so that aspiring

politicians can learn the

proper ways of corruption.

But no matter how many C-schools come up, none will

ever match the

class and academic scholarship of the World's Best

C-School:

THE NATIONAL CORRUPTION INSTITUTE
OF INDIA (NCII).

Our most prestigious politicians like (Names Edited)

and more recently

(Names Edited)

among many others have passed out with

distinguished honours

from the hallowed grounds of the NCII.

If you too want to become a successful politician then

you must join the NCII.

The WORLD'S GREATEST AND ONLY C-SCHOOL!

Just check out their

new advertisement for aspiring C-School applicants:

National Corruption Institute Of India (NCII) -

Affiliated To Indian Parliament

Listed on the World Corruption Index

as the World's Best C-School

Invites Applications for
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3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption (BC).

Candidates successfully completing BC

will be eligible for

2 Yrs Masters Course (MC) in specialised fields

e.g. tele-communications, sports, housing etc
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OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:-

Financial Theory and Practice

* Transfer of funds through HAWALA
for creation of MASS GHOTALA

* FINANCIAL NETWORKING -
Movement of money through well engineered networks
between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.

* Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.

* Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and

methods like 'Chai Pani', 'Parcel', 'Change', 'Gift Box' ,

'Color TV', 'Foreign Trip' and the ever popular 'Children's School Fees'

Public Relations (PR) and Media Management

* Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.

* Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.

* Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY.

Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like

Professor (Name Edited) and Professor (Name Edited).

* Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.

* Learn the art of proving all allegations as

"BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED"

* Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS.

Advanced course in proving

that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.
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Law and Order Module:
In this module you will learn how to:
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* Commit MURDER and RAPE.

* Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control.

* Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.

* Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don't

get arrested in the first place!

* FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures in this

chapter by visiting Professors (Names Edited)!

* You will get expert lectures on how to pretend

illness when arrested and lead comfortable life in hospital till

bail is granted.
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Advanced Riotology
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* Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY

STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.

* Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy

and widespread dispersal of

RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS

* Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores

for easy procurement of 'DESI DARU' to get rioters high and

ensure awesome rioting!

* Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age

exciting methods

for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.

* Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots

through STONE THROWING.

* Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert

tutelage of Professor (Name Edited).
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Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty
Of World Class Professors
Special Courses In:
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* '2G SPECTRUM - A Telecommunications Perspective' By
Professors (Names Edited)

* 'Flat Taking From Army Jawan' By Professor (Name Edited)

* 'The Correct Standard of Cleanliness'
By Professor Name Edited (of CW Games fame)

* 'Sports Medal or No Medal,
In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal'
By Professor Name Edited
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* 'Application of Corruption on
Non Human Species -

Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder' By Professor (Name Edited)

* 'Building A Corridor for The Taj Mahal Can Cost More
Money Than Building The Taj Mahal Itself'
By Professor (Name Edited).
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And Many Many More!!

SO FORGET B-SCHOOL.

BE COOL, JOIN C-SCHOOL.

EAST OR WEST - NCII IS THE BEST.
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Admission open - Limited seats

(thru back-door only and to highest bidders,

transparency guaranteed)

No qualification required, politicians preferred - no

age limit, no sex bar - placement guaranteed - RUSH NOW

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